And some days...

...all I do is watch the sky.

I don't know why, but recently I get this craving to just write. To sit outside on a blanket with my iPod and a journal and just write. All I want to do is sit outside under the blue (or perhaps gray) sky and write all of my thoughts down and never stop. Lately it feels like I'm swimming through wet cement.... I don't know why. I'm not unhappy. In fact, I'm the farthest thing from unhappy. I'm completely satisfied with my life. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed. Who knows.

I'm sitting in my cubicle at work, and I really should be working, but who even does that anymore. That seems to be my catchphrase recently... "who even does that anymore?" I'm not sure why I say that so often. Maybe it's because I'm not really sure where I'm going in life at this point. Yeah, I get good grades, applied to the college of my dreams, and have a summer job (slash a job I can work at during school vacations) that pays well. But where am I going....

Well I guess maybe I'm exaggerating. I don't feel that lost. I just have so many things running through my brain constantly that I don't know how to grab them all. I'm constantly contemplating my future, where I'm going to be in ten years, what I'll be doing... there's just SO much happening right now, and it's all so fast, I just feel overwhelmed by the sweeping undertow of it all.

Thank goodness I'm home though. Thanksgiving break was certainly a much-needed escape from the always-moving atmosphere at KUA. Whenever I'm there I just feel like a blur, rushing through each day to get through to the next break. It always feels like our vacations are too far away, and that home is so close and yet so far. And then I get home, and even though I love my home with all my heart, all I want to do is travel and get away.

I miss home when I'm gone, and yet when I'm home all I want to do is get on a plane and go.

And thank goodness for Ron Pope. His music speaks so much truth...

"There's a great big world out there and I wanna see it

There's a great big world out there and there's a place for me in it

Though I'll miss my mother and the friends I know

The light burns out if you wait too long

There's a great big world I see and it's waiting out there for me..."